The Things That Break Us
by maresalis
Summary: Over the years they had just fell apart. That was the nicest way Axel could put it. Had he ever meant to hurt him? No, but Saix could argue this fact to his grave, Axel knew that. The truth they could settle on was that nothing could ever be the same, and neither would enjoy it. / A series of one shots based off an old roleplay. / AkuSai AkuRoku
1. The Things That Break Us

Saix pulled his coat closer as he found the door to his apartment unlocked. He knew exactly what was behind that door, and it was not a demon he was ready to face. His heart raced. His palms became damp. _You're an Alworth. Nothing can break you. _Taking a deep breath, he pushed into his dark home.

Just as he expected, he found Axel hunched over on his couch. His hair was limp, barely tied back, lying over his face in disarray. The air was thick of cigarette smoke and evidence of Axel's filthy habit lie in a makeshift ashtray that now lay littered on his coffee table. Saix put down his briefcase and flicked on the light.

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear before. You're not welcome here."

Axel looked up. He fiddled with the old apartment key in his hand. He knew he had heard those words before. This time they weren't accompanied by books and other objects aimed at his head.

"I don't know what you expect me to do. I don't have anywhere else to go." Axel had to admit, even for him that was a selfish thing to say, but he was desperate. The apartment that they had shared for the last two years was all he had left.

Saix felt his blood boil, his neck became hot under his collar. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his tie.

"I don't think you'll have any trouble find another bed to sleep in. You certainly haven't."

Axel quickly found himself on his feet. He didn't exactly have a way to defend himself. Maybe he was acting out of embarrassment. Saix didn't owe him anything and he didn't expect it.

"Saix…" Axel started, bringing his eyes to meet Saix's. There was no love left for him in those eyes. Axel's heart stopped.

"I don't care what you have to say, Axel." Saix began taking off his jacket and hanging it up out of habit. Nothing his body was doing now was in his control. He moved over to the kitchen as he began to make coffee. "It's funny. I knew moving here was a chance to broaden your horizons. This isn't exactly what I had in mind." He lost count of the scoops he had put in the grinder.

"Don't tell me you haven't been sucking any to get ahead. All those "extra hours" you've put in. Don't think I haven't noticed." Axel sneered.

Saix slammed the spoon down on the counter, frozen. He could feel Axel's eyes burning holes in his back.

"I'm right, aren't I?" The silence was all Axel needed to hear.

"Get out." Saix spoke with clenched teeth. He gripped the heated spoon between his fists. Infuriated, he could not find the words to tell the man before him there was nothing further from the truth. Maybe, he thought, if he were to let him believe that, it could be easier for the both of them to move on.

"Oh my god…" Axel began to move around frantically. Between fidgeting with the key in his hand and picking up his coat and his bag to leave, he tripped over the coffee table and stumbled onto the floor. Saix didn't even flinch.

"GET OUT." Saix yelled coarsely . Without turning around, he heard a scurry and the door slam shut.

The apartment remained a deafening silence. Saix had completely forgotten about the coffee he was making and was now sitting on the couch, cleaning the ash and remains of Axel's mess into a waste bin. Saix checked his watch. Quarter to eleven. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. This could all be fixed so easily. All it would take would be one phone call. He thumbed the familiar buttons, taking a deep breath and waited for the dial tone.

The line picked up.

"Hello. Yes, this is Saix."

The voice sounded willing.

"I would like to take you up on your," he flattened his shirt nervously ,"_offer_ _of advancement_, Sir."

All too willing.

"I can be there within the hour. I look forward to…"

The other end disconnected.


	2. The Faults That Make Us

Axel pounded on the door of Number Seven's office loud enough that even the others around could hear.

"Enter." the voice inside said coolly.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Axel shouted as he slammed the door behind him.

"What? I was just merely playing along with the game young Thirteen was begging to play." Saix let the words roll over his tongue with ease, holding in the tight smirk between his firmly pressed lips. He looked up from the work on his desk, eyeing the impatient and infuriated redhead in front of him past his reading glasses.

"Bullshit," Axel snapped. He waved his phone in the air, angrily before reading over the texts that had been sent. "I've seen Axel do things you couldn't even dream of? You'll never be able to fill that place where I belong? Forever has never been in his vocabulary?" The man spat with intensity, more agitated with each one. "Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

Saix removed his glasses and placed them neatly on the table. Folding his hands on the table, he focused his sharp yellowed eyes on the green ones that only glared back.

"And what did you tell him?" he replied, curtly.

"What did I tell him, what?"

Saix gave a soft chuckle to himself, which did nothing to calm the nerves that Axel felt tugging. Saix got up from his desk and walked over to the colleague in front of him. He leaned in close to his ear.

"What did you tell him about... forever?" His voice slithered, his breath warm on Axel's neck.

"Fuck off," Axel cursed, pushing Saix away from the all-too-familiar position. "And stay the hell away from Roxas, like you promised."

Saix shrugged and made his way back to his desk.

"When are you going to quit lying to him, Axel? When are you going to tell him the truth?"

Axel had turned for the door, clutching the cool handle in self control.

"You can't keep running. Your past is always right there, behind you. What other skeletons is Roxas going to have to find before you tell him everything?"

Axel took a deep breath. He wasn't going to let Saix get to him.

"Hopefully he won't have to find one more," Axel threatened bitterly. He took one shy look back at the man who, again, had begun to pace through more paperwork, unresponsive. Letting go a heavy sigh, he turned the handle and showed himself out.


	3. The Time It Takes Us

Axel looked up from the scotch in his hand; the touch of the glass almost as bitter as the taste. Maybe he had promised he'd stop putting that glass to his lips. Maybe he had promised he'd never turn out this way. And maybe he had promised a lot of things.

_A drunkard, like my father._

He rested his head on the cool metal of the desk and gave a heavy sigh. Tonight he was glad Saix had always kept a bottle of hard liquour in his office. After everyone had left, he had taken the keys from the hook and let himself into the second-in-command's office.

It was a boring old room. Saix never bothered to do much with it. Papers from the weeks reports and inquiries, usually stacked in proper order and categorized, were strewn about in a busy frenzy.

_What does he do in here?_ Axel thought lazily to himself. After deciding whe didn't want to know, he took the last swig from his glass and filled it again.

A buzz echoed throughout the empty room.

_Damn phone. _He thought, wanting to shut it off. _Couldn't you just leave me alone? _He took one last glance at the display and then resolved to shoving the device deep into his pocket, hopefully to be forgotten.

Taking another swig, he decided to entertain the thought of what his old friend could store in his desk. He opened serveral drawers only to find menial office supplies and more reports.

"What are you hiding, Saix?"Axel mumbled as he rummaged through a few things, finally closing another drawer in defeat. The last drawer had a day planner on top opened to the following week and scribbled with missions and dates and the odd reminder. Axel took hold of it and laid the book out on the desk. "Looks like no one is having "lunch" with Xemnas on Tuesday..." Axel chuckled to himself as he took an eraser to the open planner. Axel, feeling satisfied with his little prank, opened the drawer again to replace the schedule, only to lose it in his hands. The book fell to the ground, exposing itself to another page and releasing its contents: a picture.

Axel had seen this one before only because he had the exact same picture at home. It was of him and Saix in their early days in the Organization.

_They look happy, _he thought. "We _were_ happy." he whispered.

Another vibration pried his attention. He search his pocket again, but instead of finding his phone, took out a lighter and played with it in his fingers. With two flicks of the safety, the flame rose from the nozzle and danced before him in a glow of yellows and oranges and blues._ The Flurry of Dancing Flames, _that's what they called him. Right now, he felt like nothing more but the ashes. He held up the taunting photograph and began to singe away what was rest of that surrendered past.

By this time, the knock at the door should have startled him. He failed to even flinch when the door slowly opened and the familiar blond pressed his way into the stiff stentch of sweat and alcohol that filled the room.

"Oh, you're in here." Roxas said uncomfortably as he passed glances to the pathetic slump at the desk and the ominous name plate insignia on the door.

"I told you not to come." Axel mumbled.

"This is Saix's office." Roxas commented, ignoring Axel protest.

"Yup." Roxas stood reluctantly in the doorway for a moment until admiting silent defeat and closing the door behind him. The young man pulled up a chair beside his friend.

"What are you doing?"

Roxas looked at the crumpled photograph, the edges charred.

"Burnin' thi' pic'ure." Axel responded, his speech harsh and slurred.

Roxas had seen the photo before. Axel had the same one tucked away with some things.

"Is this Saix's?"

"Yup."

"Oh Axel," he sighed. They held a silence while Axel continued to take the flame slowly around the edges of the memory. "What else does x-face have in here?" Roxas asked, more to himself, as he begun to go through the drawers of their superiors desk. "Look, here's one of you in Fiji."

Axel stopped burning the photo in his hand and took the other one, taken just months before. He laughed quietly to himself.

"Tha' was fun." he sighed. Roxas shot him a look. Even in such a stupor, Axel could sense Roxas's distain. "Oops. S'rry." He said as he lit up the flame and began to work the edges of that photo too.

Silence hung in the air again. Roxas looked at the sorry state of his boyfriend, slumped in the chair, buring the picture with drunken pleasure. He played with the idea of taking Axel home, but something about the violation of Saix's space, his possessions, kept him grounded. He looked down at the open drawer to see what else offered itself for inspection. Hesitantly, he picked up an envelope of photos and pulled out the slick cardstock. The first photo was of a young Axel and as he flipped through them, Saix and a young girl began to appear in the pictures.

"How old are you in these?" Roxas handed Axel a picture of himself, Saix and the girl.

Axel smiled sadly at the photo. "Sev'n. Tha's Sara." he recalled. Roxas knew of Sara, the girl who had grown up with Saix and Axel. The woman who had married Axel's brother, Lea. "This was jus' before Saix 'n' I gots in a fight over Sara." Axel laughed. "That was the firs' an' las' time we ever fought over a girl." With another laugh, he lit up the lighter again and began to take apart the edge of this photo as well.

"Stop this. It's not fair to Sara." Roxas said as he reached over and took the lighter from Axel's oddly cold fingers.

"Sorry, Sara." he mumbled softly. Axel rested the photo on the table and put his head in his hands. "Sorry, Saix..." he said, almost silently.

Roxas sat there, unable to comfort the heavy sighs from the sad figure before him. It almost frustrated him the way Axel responded in a heap of drunkeness. It frustrated him the most when Axel refused to speak to him about these things, which was something, he realized, Axel did none of. Saix had used this against him before; Axel liked to keep secrets, and Roxas had learned just how much over the last few months.

"I should get you some water." Roxas had decided, though avoidance of a hangover was probably something long overdue. Roxas got up swiftly from his seat and snuck out silently. Turning around, he almost collided with another solemn figure, face pressed against the wall. The blue hair was unmistakeably Saix, and were it had been any other encounter, the two would have uttered words of distaste to each other. However, as Roxas slowly made his way down the hallway, the reserve from his rival was like nothing he could remember.

Without questioning Saix's presence at this hour, Roxas grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and made his way back to Axel. As Roxas passed Saix again, he bore his eyes into the ceramic tile floor, hoping maybe all of this was some ceaseless nightmare.

"Roxas..." The name seemed to roll of the man's tongue with an unfamiliar lull. Roxas stopped cold, almost afraid to move. "I-I'm sorry."

A silence befell the corridor that was almost deafening. "Say that again?" Roxas asked, unable to believe what his ears had heard.

"Wha's goin' on...?" Axel said as he stumbled through the door. He looked at Roxas and then at Saix, who both offered their sorrowed stares. "Oh..." Axel took another step, but stumbled, taking a fall to Roxas's arms. Saix watched openly as he saw the affection that Roxas gave his former friend.

"Come on, Axel. Drink something. We have to get you home."

"No... wait." Axel said. He lifted his heavy head and looked straight at Saix, who could do nothing but gawk back. Axel look a few steps toward the man and slipped his hands around a once familiar body. Saix winced at first as the slender man wrapped him in a hug, for such warmth was something he could hardly remember. Axel released and mustered one last sober smile for Saix before he went stumbling back to Roxas's side.

"I'm good now. Yup." he said, giving Roxas an almost childish smile.

Roxas flexed his fists in complete self control. Apology or not, Saix would always be a threat, and there was nothing Roxas could ever do to understand anything more than that.

The two walked off down the corridor in silence. Soon, Saix was left in the hallway alone, not wanting to move and just barely breathing. Blinking twice, a tear rolled down his placid cheek and he knew that this was his end.


End file.
